How to be a Hypocrite

If you want to be really and truly British, you must become a hypocrite.
Now: how to be a hypocrite?
As some people say that an example explains things better than the best theory, let me try this way.
I had a drink with an English friend of mine in a pub. We were sitting on the high chairs in front of the counter when a flying bomb exploded about a hundred yards away. I was truly and honestly frightened, and when a few seconds later I looked around, I could not see my friend anywhere. At last I noticed he was lying on the floor, flat as a pancake. When he realised that nothing particular had happened in the pub he go up a little embarrassed, flicked the dust off his suit, and turned to me with a superior and sarcastic smile.
"Good Heavens! Were you so frightened that you couldn't move?"


                                                                                 How to be an alien (1946), George Mikes